How to deal with a bully at work
Yesterday’s post suggested that our current economy may be ripe for bullies in the workplace. As promised, some tips on handling a workplace bully from Dawn Rosenberg McKay, About.com:
- Seek the advice of a trusted mentor who may have dealt with this situation before.
- If you can, confront the bully in a professional manner, but only if your physical safety isn’t threatened. Don’t sink to his or her level. Stay as calm as possible. Don’t yell or threaten. Often bullies are looking for this type of confrontation and it will encourage them to come back for more. Don’t cry or show weakness either. That’s usually what the bully is after in the first place.
- Don’t try to win over other people to your side. The way in which you handle the situation will allow them to make their own judgements.
- Don’t allow the bully to intimidate you or make you feel bad about yourself. You know your true worth. Don’t forget what that is.
- Do your job and do it well. The workplace bully wants you to fail and when you don’t he or she will be defeated.
- Make sure your superiors are aware of your work. Workplace bullies often try to spread the word that your are not doing your job well and will even go as far as to report the smallest infractions to your boss. Your actions will carry more weight than his or her words.
- Don’t allow the bully to isolate you from your colleagues. Keep up your workplace friendships.
Have you been dealing with a bully at work? How do you handle it? Share your thoughts in the comments section.
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April 29th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
Great advice – she’s forgotten one very important piece however: Be aware of your body language.
When we feel threatened we tend to close in. We look down, our shoulder’s hunch over, our toes point slightly in and we cross our arms to shield ourselves. Talk to the bully with your chin up, shoulders back, direct (almost staring) eye contact, arms directly at your side, toes pointed directly at the bully. This tells the bully you are not to be messed with anymore.
May 6th, 2009 at 4:22 am
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September 18th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Often times the bully will isolate you from other workers. I seen this firsthand. They are so mean and nasty that other co-workers are afraid to retain relationships with the one that is bullied in order to protect themselves from such abuse. I’ve even seen where other co-workers will re-enforce the bullying and the boss will turn the other cheek to it. My advice get out of the situation. I tried, was going to college to further my degree and right before graduation the bully laid me off. Unfortunately my husband is permanently disabled and on 10 different medications a day, I am the sole supporter. The bully knew this. My work was superior I performed more than anyone else in the office. Losing my job was the best thing that could of happened in regards to getting away from the bully, but the hardest struggle for me. Trying to find another job in this market in order to maintain survival is challenging to say the least. I look forward to the day when this is all behind me.